What is Unique and Shared?
Unique and Shared runs in two halves. In the Shared round, small groups list the traits they already have in common — no hair, no clothes, nothing surface-level. In the Unique round, the same groups switch direction and find at least 2 things that set each person apart, then share them with the room.
It works because most groups walk in assuming they don't have much in common, and the Shared list proves otherwise before anyone's even reached the Unique round. Finding that overlap first makes the second half easier — by the time someone has to name what makes a teammate different, the room has already agreed on more than it expected.
It's built for groups of 5 or more, with 5–6 minutes to give each half — expect the full session to land somewhere in the 30–60 minute range once setup and the reveal are folded in. Skip it if the room only has a few rushed minutes; both halves need room to breathe. And because the Unique round asks people to hear traits others noticed about them, it works better in a room that's already met once than as the very first icebreaker of the day.
The rules
- Split into groups of 5, each with paper and a pen.
- Round one, "Shared": a notetaker lists the traits the group has in common — skip anything as surface-level as hair or clothes.
- Give "Shared" 5–6 minutes, then have a spokesperson read the list aloud.
- Round two, "Unique": find at least 2 qualities that set each person apart from the rest of the group.
- Give "Unique" 5–6 minutes too, on a fresh sheet of paper.
- Reveal the Unique list one of three ways — everyone shares their own, everyone reads their neighbor's, or a spokesperson reads one trait at a time for the group to guess whose it is.
Before you start
- Groups of 5, seated in clusters Arrange chairs or seating in circles of about 5 so each group can gather without crowding its neighbors. Count off in advance if the room needs splitting evenly.
- 2 sheets of paper and a pen per person One sheet for Shared, one for Unique. A visible clock or stopwatch keeps both rounds honest.
- Pick the reveal method before you start Decide whether Unique will end with everyone reading their own list, reading their neighbor's, or a spokesperson reading traits for the group to guess.
- Name tags, if the room's still getting acquainted Optional — useful only if participants don't already know each other's names.
How to run it
- Form groups of 5 2–3 min
Ask people to gather with those around them into groups of about 5. Divide the room in advance if it needs even groups.
- Hand out paper and pens 1–2 min
Give each group enough paper for 2 sheets per person, plus pens for everyone.
- Run the Shared round 5–6 min
A notetaker in each group lists the traits members have in common. Push past anything as surface-level as hair or clothes. When time's up, a spokesperson reads the list to the room.
- Run the Unique round 5–6 min
Keep the same groups, or shuffle into new ones. On a second sheet, find at least 2 unique qualities per person. When time's up, reveal them the way you picked ahead of time.
← 5–6 minutes each half. more in common than anyone guessed.
Facilitator tips
Why it works
Reflection questions
Five questions that turn the two rounds into an actual debrief, not just the icebreaker itself.
- What did you learn about your group members through this activity?Ties the Shared list back to the Unique one — what's common and what turned out to be one person's alone.
- How did you feel sharing your unique qualities with the group?Gets at whether the Unique round actually felt safe to be honest in.
- Did any of the shared or unique traits surprise you? If so, which ones?The specific, memorable answers live in the follow-up "which ones."
- How can you use what you learned here with this group going forward?Moves the exercise from a one-time icebreaker into something that changes how the team actually works together.
- What did you find most challenging about this activity, and why?Surfaces where individuals or the group as a whole got stuck — useful signal for next time.