What is This or That?
This or that gives the room two options and nothing in between: cats or dogs, mornings or nights, books or movies. Everyone picks a side — a raised hand, a step across the room — and then explains why.
It works because a binary choice takes no thought to answer, so nobody stalls out before the room hears from them. The pick is the icebreaker's excuse; the reason someone gives is the actual conversation, and it's where two people who land on the same side for opposite reasons find something to talk about.
It's built for a room that's still warming up, not one that already knows each other well — the broad opening questions won't land twice with the same group. Any room with real friction over politics or values should stick to lighter categories; save the hypotheticals for a group that's already comfortable.
The rules
- Ask a this-or-that question with two clear, distinct options — nothing in between.
- Everyone picks a side: step to one half of the room, raise a hand, or hold up an object.
- Start broad and non-controversial — cats or dogs, morning or night — before anything personal.
- After the choice, ask a few people why. That's where the actual conversation happens.
- Rotate who's asking, or let the facilitator run the whole round.
- Keep every prompt inclusive — skip anything divisive or sensitive for this room.
Before you start
- Group size: 4–20 people. Works from a small team to a full room, as long as everyone can see and hear the choice being made.
- A circle or open floor. Arrange seating, or clear enough space that a raised hand or a step to one side is visible to the whole group.
- A facilitator (optional). One person to ask the questions keeps the round moving, but players can trade the role themselves if nobody's assigned.
- A stack of prompts. Write questions ahead of time or make them up on the spot — either works, as long as they're inclusive and considerate of the group.
How to run it
- Set up the room 1–2 min
Arrange seating, or clear space so a side-of-the-room or raised-hand choice is visible to everyone.
- Explain the choice 1 min
Each question has two options. Participants pick one — moving to a side of the room, raising a hand, or holding up an object.
- Start broad 3 min
Open with easy, non-controversial questions — cats or dogs, morning or night — to ease everyone into the format.
- Ask for the why 3–4 min
After each choice, invite a few people to share why they picked it. That's where the spontaneous conversation starts.
- Go deeper 3–4 min
As the room warms up, move to more personal or situational questions — books or movies, visit the past or travel to the future.
- Close with reflection 2–3 min
Wrap by discussing which choices surprised people or revealed something new about a teammate.
← the reasons are the actual game.
Facilitator tips
Why it works
Reflection questions
For classrooms and teams that want the debrief — these turn the choices into a conversation.
- What was one question that surprised you with its answer?Surfaces which prompts actually resonated — a good read on what this group cares about.
- Did one of your own answers get an unexpected reaction? Why do you think that was?Points at how one person's pick can shift the whole room's conversation.
- Did this activity change how you see anyone in the room?Names the commonalities and differences that came up — the actual point of the exercise.
- Did any question make you reconsider your own answer?A quick check for open-mindedness — the good answers here are usually surprising even to the person giving them.
- If you wrote the next question, what would it be?Hands the format back to the group and shows how invested they got.