What is Identity Circles?
Identity Circles pairs up participants in two concentric circles — inner facing out, outer facing in — and asks each partner to explain why they wrote the 10 personal values on their index cards. After every round, inner circle participants tear up one card and talk through what it feels like to set that piece of their identity aside, then rotate to a new partner and do it again, until each person is down to a single card: their most important value.
It works because the ripping does the emotional work a straight list can't. Explaining a value once is a fact; explaining the same kind of value again after you've already torn up a few others is a decision you have to defend out loud, and every new partner hears a slightly more honed version of the answer.
It's built for a room that has time to sit with something — trainings, offsites, established teams ready to go past small talk. For a first meeting, a short standup slot, or a group that isn't ready to talk about things like race, religion, or socio-economic status in front of near-strangers, skip it: the depth here is the whole point, and there's no shortcut through it.
The rules
- Give every participant 10 index cards and a pen; each card holds one personal value.
- Split the group into two circles — inner facing out, outer facing in — so every inner participant is paired with an outer participant.
- Partners take turns explaining why they wrote the values they did, not just what they wrote.
- After sharing, inner circle participants tear up one card and talk through what it's like to set that piece of their identity aside.
- The inner circle rotates one partner to the right and repeats — share, then rip — until each person is down to one card.
- Optional: skip the ripping and have people rank their values instead, sharing the order without destroying any cards.
Before you start
- Group size: 8–50 participants. The concentric-circle format scales from a small training room to a full workshop without changing the mechanic — just add or drop pairs.
- Indoor space for two circles. Clear enough room — chairs or open floor — for an inner circle and an outer circle facing each other. That's the whole footprint.
- Materials: 10 index cards and a pen per participant. Set them out before anyone arrives, along with a short list of value categories to prompt with — race, religion, occupation, family, traits, activities, health, and socio-economic status.
- Prep the value-category list. Have that list ready before you start. It's the difference between 10 thoughtful values and 10 stalled participants staring at a blank card.
How to run it
- Explain the exercise 3–5 min
Tell the room what's coming: everyone writes 10 personal values, then talks through them with a rotating string of partners, tearing one card away after every round until just one is left.
- Write the 10 values 5–10 min
Hand out 10 index cards and a pen per person. Ask everyone to write one value per card, drawing from categories like race, religion, occupation, family, traits, activities, health, and socio-economic status if they get stuck.
- First partner shares 5–7 min
Inner and outer circle participants pair off and take turns explaining why they wrote each value. The reasoning is the actual activity — the cards themselves are just the prompt.
- Rip and reflect 2–3 min
Inner circle participants tear up one card and talk through what it's like to set that piece of their identity aside.
- Rotate and repeat 5–7 min each
The inner circle moves one partner to the right, and the new pair discusses why the last card got torn up. Keep rotating and ripping until everyone is down to a single card — their most important value.
← partner shares run 5–7 minutes each. the card you keep is the whole point.
Facilitator tips
Variations
Skip the destruction entirely: have participants order their 10 values from most to least important and share that order with their partners, cards intact. Same reflection, no torn paper.
Why it works
Reflection questions
For trainings and teams that want the debrief — these turn the rip into an actual reflection, not just a game.
- What value did you end up with, and why do you think it's your most important one?Names the motivation behind the choice — and builds empathy for it.
- How did you feel when you ripped up one of your cards? Why?Surfaces the emotional weight of the game, not just the mechanics.
- Did any of your partners' values or stories surprise you? If so, how?Points at where an assumption met an actual answer.
- How comfortable were you sharing your values and listening to your partners' values?Tells you whether the format actually landed, not just whether people played along.
- What did you learn about yourself or others through this activity?Puts the insight into words instead of leaving it unspoken.
- How can you apply what you learned today to your interactions with others in the group or beyond it?Moves the exercise from the circle into whatever comes next.